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The best way to overcome nerves on a first date over 50 is to cancel the date. Wait! I’m just kidding.
There’s no question that dating over 50, especially if it’s been a while, can be scary. First-date nerves might be natural, but they’re certainly not fun.
If you’re getting sweaty palms and a racing heart just thinking about the date, it’s time to help you ease your pre-date jitters!
Do you know what first-date anxiety is all about? It’s the fear of the unknown. I’m sure there are a lot of questions going through your mind. Will this person like me? What if the date is horrible? Will I be safe? What will we talk about? What will I wear?
I get it. But don’t worry, this doesn’t have to be a nerve-wracking experience.
I’m going to share some great tips in this post toh elp you approach your first meeting with confidence.
Hopefully, you’ll find these practical strategies useful in shifting your mindset. Let’s try to calm your nervous energy and turn your date into an enjoyable experience.
1. Shift to a Positive Mindset
You’ve probably heard of postivie affirmations before. If you’re a Saturday Night Live fan like I am, you might remember the character Stuart Smalley (played by Al Franken) saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
That’s one way of practicing positive affirmations!
The point of positive affirmations are to replace negative self-talk with uplifting, constructive messages.
Yes, it does work to overcome nerves on a first date over 50
A 2013 study published in PLOS One found that self-affirmations can ease stress.
Researchers observed that participants who used self-affirmations before high-pressure tasks had lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels.
They also performed better than those who did not affirm themselves.
How to do it
Remind yourself that this is a great opportunity to connect with someone new. It’s not a fear of rejection test.
Try phrases like:
“I’m bringing my best self forward.”
“I’m a great catch!”
“I am enough, just as I am.”
“I trust myself to handle this with confidence and ease.”
Let these affirmations run through your head as many times as you want. It’s also a good idea to say them aloud in front of a mirror.
Believe it or not, these affirmations can play a significant role in calming your dating anxiety.
Visualize Success
Before the date, take some time to imagine it going well. Picture yourself smiling, laughing, and finding common ground with your new person.
If you’re worried about the date going badly, it doesn’t hurt to visualize how you would handle it. It’s not a negative thing to pre-plan for unexpected events.
The point is to visualize being in control. It’s a good way to quiet feelings of anxiety!
2. Plan Ahead for Comfort
Try to steer the date towards a comfortable location.
If it feels more like a coffee date, it might be less intimidating. Assuming you have some say in where the date will be, try to have it where you feel most comfortable.
If large, noisy crowds make you nervous, avoid a dance hall.
That said, it’s a good idea to meet someone in a busy public place the first few times. Here are some ideas:
Coffee shop
A coffee shop is a cozy place to meet someone. It’s quiet enough to have meaningful conversation without the pressure of formal dining.
Museum or Art Gallery
Visiting a museum or art gallery provides plenty to talk about and allows for a relaxed environment.
Scenic Walk or Nature Park
A walk in the park is a great way to experience a new dating experience because you don’t have to be seated opposite one another.
I think it’s more nerve-wracking to sit down and face a stranger eye-to-eye in a coffee shop than it is to go on a walk with someone.
Casual Dinner at a Local Restaurant
A relaxed, quiet restaurant with good atmosphere is a great choice. Many people enjoy having a good meal while engaging in meaningful conversation.
Remember to keep it simple. Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself or the date.
Simple outings can be just as meaningful with a lot less stress.
Decide what to wear
Pre-planning your outfit helps me feel more in control and less nervous. It’s a little hard to do if you don’t know where you’re going.
Hopefully, however, you’ve had a say in where the date will take place.
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3. Breathe and Stay Grounded
I’m going to have to be real with you here. I’m the last person to consder practical tips like deep breathing to relieve stress.
I know it’s important! Yet, I still find myself holding my breath in tense situations.
That said, deep breathing goes a long way in reducing anxiety. The trick is to bring your breath deep into your belly. Let your belly expand and then slowly exhale.
The reason deep breathing works is because it activates the parasympathetic nervous system. It counteracts the stress-induced “fight or flight” response.
This activation shows the heart rate, may reduces blood pressure, and promotes a sense of calm.
4. Try Light Exercise Beforehand
A little physical activity, preferably with music you love, is a great way to get into the right mindset.
Light exercise, like a walking meditation, can do wonders to settle your mind and body.
Light movement can help ease the physical symptoms of anxiety. Try a little yoga, a light walk, or dance to your favorite music.
5. Reframe Your Perspective
It’s natural to be nervous.
The more important this is to you, the more nervous you’ll likely be. Just remember that older adults bring years of experience and wisdom to the table.
You’ve probably been through a lot worse than a first date before.
Use your past experiences as a confidence booster! Those experiences have shaped who you are today.
Think of it this way: If you accidentally bumped into a stranger at the grocery store, shared a laugh and some light conversation you wouldn’t be nervous, right?
This is your chance to spend time getting to know a new person, not a make-or-break moment.
6. Seek Support and Reassurance
There’s nothing like a quick pep talk from a trusted friend to help ease pre-date butterflies.
A good friend will remind you of your best qualities and why you’re ready to step into the dating game.
Conclusion
It’s not easy to re-enter the dating scene, but it’s a great way to create new connections.
Try to remember that your date likely has the same nervous jitters about meeting you.
That person might also be going through a similar experience as you whether it’s through divorce, death of a spouse, or feeling lonely.
Even in the worst-case scenarious, you can always back out of the date if you have to.
Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, but it’s comforting to know that you are in control.
Deep breathing techniques, positive self-talk, a little reassurance all go a long way in leaving a good first impression.
