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Are you just coming out of a long-term relationship? Maybe you’ve experienced the tragedy of losing a loved one. If you’ve found your way here, you’re probably facing life being single over 50, and it’s not easy.
I wanted to write this post to fully explore what it means to be single over 50.
Through my research, I’ve uncovered some interesting things I think you’ll find helpful. Although I do talk about dating for the over-50 age group, the main focus of this blog post is to better understand how to get comfortable being single over 50.
I’ve learned some things about being single over 50 through the years, and I want to share my thoughts on the topic with you. We’re all unique and different. The way you learn to be comfortable being single over 50 probably won’t mirror my experiences. And that’s okay!
Keep reading to see if the initial fears, concerns, tips, and insights resonate with you! Ultimately, I hope you’ll feel better equipped to take the next step forward as you navigate being single over 50 in today’s world.
I’ve witnessed what it means to be single over 50
My father passed away after 52 years of marriage. My mother was strong, outgoing, and had a good circle of friends and family to lean on. Sadly, it didn’t shield her from pain, fear, or anxiety. I remember the night she called me, crying. “I’m all alone now,” she said.
After so many years of being in a loving, committed relationship, she suddenly faced the world without a partner to lean on. Thankfully, she had a good circle of friends (and family) who rallied around her.
She was only 65 when my father died. She wore a brave face during the day and grieved in the slips of darkness between twilight and dawn.
She didn’t date after my father passed. But she did go through the rest of her life with great resilience and even joy. She passed away peacefully at 86 years of age.
The Widowhood Effect
The “widowhood effect” refers to the increased risk of mortality among widowed individuals compared to their married counterparts.
Researchers at Oxford Academic studied the effects of widowhood on people who were in long-term relationships. What they discovered was that the level of stress, anxiety, fear, and discomfort correlated with the quality of their relationship. For example, widows who were highly dependent on their spouses experienced elevated anxiety.
Deep losses like this can have a deep impact on your health. Did you know that widowed individuals have about a 22% higher risk of death compared to their married (including common law marriages) counterparts?
For seniors specifically, the risk can be even higher with up to 66% increased risk of dying within the first 3 months, according to one BMJ study.
The “Breakup Effect”
It’s important to understand that it doesn’t matter whether you were traditionally married to your partner. When you experience a loss (whether by death or breakup) it’s normal to experience the same deep impact.
Are You Afraid of Being Single Over 50?
Some people want to be single over 50, and others are thrust into it through powers outside of their control.
It’s common for older women and men to experience a spectrum of feelings. These can include:
- sadness
- anger
- confusion
- relief
- fear
- anxiety
Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but it is a natural part of learning to live without that special someone by your side.
Asking For Help When You Need It
You might know someone who is just coming to terms with being single over 50 and, from the outside, they may appear to be taking it all in stride.
Don’t compare your thoughts and feelings to anyone else. The reality is that you can’t truly understand how someone else is dealing with a loss unless you can walk in their shoes. That person, for example, could be getting professional help to smooth through the rocky transition.
When to Get Professional Help
You don’t have to wait until you hit “rock bottom” to get help. If you’ve recently found yourself single over 50 for any reason, consulting with a mental health professional (psychologist or counselor), can help guide your path forward.
These people are trained to work with you objectively, without judgment. Most importantly, they can provide coping strategies that are specifically tailored to your needs.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and a proactive step toward healing. Engaging in social activities, pursuing hobbies, and building new routines can also aid in the adjustment process.
Red Flags That Could Indicate You Need To Get Professional Help
Telling someone to just “enjoy” being single over 50 is kind of like telling someone with depression to just walk it off. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get yourself out of the funk.
Don’t suffer through it alone. The best thing you can do for yourself is seek guidance from a licensed clinical psychologist. Not sure if you need help? Here are a few red flags to consider:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Low appetite
- Withdrawing or avoiding social contact
- Frequent crying jags
- Low motivation
- Low energy
- Constantly feeling revved up without the ability to calm yourself
- Constantly worrying
- Nightmares
These are just a few red flags for you to consider. Again, you shouldn’t wait until you hit rock bottom to get help. You don’t have to wait for any of these signs and symptoms to appear. Be proactive. If you’re facing being single over 50 and you’re not having a great time with it, get help.
Single Over 50? Try New Hobbies!
Hobbies are a great way to learn more about yourself, extend your creative interests, and possibly even make new friends. Read these great posts related to hobbies, health, and relationships:
Is Pottery an Expensive Hobby? Cost to Get Started
5 Health Benefits of Pottery Making Over 60
19 Easy and Fun Hobbies For Couples Over 50
69 Best Mind-Stimulating Hobbies For Men Over 60
Getting Comfortable Being Single Over 50
Now that we’ve covered some of the big topics of a sudden loss, let’s get into the next phase of getting comfortable being single over 50.
Whether you’re newly single or have been living independently for a while, getting comfortable with single life after 50 is about more than just filling time. It’s about rediscovering who you are outside the context of a serious relationship.
A lot of people, especially older adults, find themselves single for the first time in decades. For single women, and single men too, it can feel overwhelming to start over. But here’s the good news: you’re not alone, and this chapter of life can be filled with growth, joy, and purpose.
Engaging in local social events, meeting like-minded people, and sharing life experiences can help shift your mindset from fear to opportunity.
This is a great time to reconnect with your passions or even uncover new ones.
Feeling lonely is completely normal, especially in the early days of single life. And even though you know that there are things you can do to find new friendships, it’s not always easy.
One thing that plays a huge factor in how quickly or comfortably you make your way back into the world has to do with personality. An extrovert, for example, might have an easier time easing back into the world of people. An introvert, like me, may need a little more coaxing.
For the Extrovert: How to Embrace Being Single Over 50
Extroverts thrive on social energy, so the key is redefining connection while creating a life that feels full, even without a partner.
Expand Your Social Circle with Purpose
I’m pretty sure an extrovert is more likely to go on a group trip as a single over 50 than an introvert. As an introvert myself, I would need to find more subtle ways to ease into the world as a newly single or widowed person.
So, with you amazing extroverts in mind, here are a few ideas on how to get back into the world as a newly single person.
- Join interest-based groups (travel clubs, language exchanges, wine tastings, dance classes).
- Volunteer for causes you care about (pet shelters, homeless outreach, etc.)
- Try meetup groups or community events specifically for solo adults or over 50 circles.
Host Gatherings
Hosting gatherings, or just inviting a few friends over regularly is a great way to stay connected with friends and family. It’s easier when it’s in the comfort of your own home. Don’t start with something overwhelming. Instead, maybe have a game night with your friends to get a feel for what it’s like being the single one in the group.
Travel Solo!
Again, as a hard-core introvert, the idea of traveling solo terrifies me. However, something tells me that my extroverted friends would be willing to give it a try.
If you’re a seasoned traveler, you may already have a sense of where you want to go and what you want to do. Otherwise, there are plenty of other ways to travel without truly being alone. Consider cruise ships, join travel groups designed for singles over 50, etc.
Practice “Active Aloneness”
I suspect this is difficult for a lot of people, regardless of whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or some combination of the two. It can be awkward to go to a restaurant or a theater alone. The thing is, it’s only awkward for you. And, of course, the more you do it, the more comfortable you become.
Reframe being alone as a choice rather than a default.
If you’d rather start slowly, go to a public event, like an outdoor concert, where you can hang out on the periphery until you feel more comfortable.
For the Introvert: How to Find Peace Being Single Over 50
Introverts may enjoy aspects of single life, but can still struggle with isolation, especially when society pushes partnership as the ideal. Don’t push yourself into dating experiences if that’s not what you want.
It’s also important to know that you never have to look at a dating app to be a happy individual. I think it’s much better to first learn to be comfortable and at peace with being single over 50 before jumping into a new relationship.
Create a Rich Inner World
As an introvert myself, I guarantee that I will not be boldly walking into the wide-open world right away. The best way for introverts to get comfortable with themselves is to journal, write, explore art, and music, or enjoy nature more fully.
Hobbies For The Single Over 50 Crowd
I often write about hobbies for couples over 50, but the reality is that there are plenty of hobbies you can enjoy on your own. Trying different hobbies allows us to explore who we are as people. They can expand our creativity and, once we’re comfortable, can help us open the doors to new friendships.
Redefine Relationship Success
A relationship doesn’t have to be romantic. If you’re not ready for dating, don’t date! Give yourself permission to relax into being a single over 50 and explore who you are as a person. You’ll be surprised how many good friends you can make without the pressure of wanting a long-term relationship.
Introverts need time and patience. Sometimes we need a little coaxing out of our safe zones, but rushing us is not going to make it better.
Craft a Safe, Inspiring Home
Home is where you can relax and be yourself. Has it been a while since you’ve changed the decor? If you’re suddenly single over 50, it might be time to add more of your personal touches to your living space.
Create a sanctuary in your home where you can just be yourself.
Easy Into The Social World Gradually
It’s okay to say no to social events. However, it’s going to be better for you in the long run if you can start to expand your social horizons. Start with small group activities that are near your home.
As an introvert, it’s a good idea to drive your car so that you can make a graceful escape if you find yourself getting overwhelmed.
And Then There’s The “Dating Scene”
Whether you try a traditional dating service or a dating app, there are more ways than ever to meet a new person who aligns with your values.
Online dating sites now cater specifically to the over 50s, offering tailored dating tips and user-friendly platforms that protect your personal information.
But don’t forget the best places to meet someone are often in your everyday life like at your favorite café, a hobby group, or a friend’s dinner party.
Whatever path you choose, be kind to yourself. Every step—whether awkward, exciting, or disappointing—is part of your evolving story.
The dating world has changed a lot. Today’s dating pool is full of people who find themselves single over 50. Some of the best dating apps out there include the following:
Senior Match
Senior Match is a premium dating site for singles over 50, from all over the world.
SilverSingles
A dating site tailored for singles over 50, focused on long-term relationships with personality-based matching.
OurTime
Designed specifically for older adults, it’s easy to use and helps seniors find companionship, dating, or love.
eHarmony
While not exclusively for seniors, it offers detailed compatibility matching and is popular among older adults seeking serious relationships.
Lumen
A dating app for over-50s with an emphasis on safety and quality conversations, featuring strict photo verification.
Getting Comfortable Being Single Over 50 Summary
Being single after 50 isn’t a bad thing. It may be difficult in the beginning, and that’s understandable. Over time, you might find yourself seeking out new relationships. Meeting new people is hard, but it’s also a rewarding experience to discover the complexities of another person.
Also, remember that potential partners can just be friendships. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to jump into romantic partnerships right away, or at all!
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, it’s always a good idea to mingle with other single people. You’ll be surprised at how much you have in common with like-minded individuals.
Take care of yourself and explore our new reality at your own pace. You’ll meet people who get what this stage of life is like, and that can make the experience even better.